A Thousand Knives Upon My Heart
by Blufle
Summary: My heart melts at the sight of him, my knees go weak and I feel like I’m in one of the many novels I have read in the hours spent in this library. Oneshot, based on MM.


**My first Harvest Moon fic (but not my first fic ever)... if you can't figure out who's in this than you haven't played MM! **

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Every morning I wake up and look out my window that faces the east so that I can watch the sunrise. Ribbons of violet, crimson, gold, and deep orange erupt from the sky in an explosion of color. The sun emerges from behind the hills and lights up the sky. I find it interesting that all the colors in the beginning of the morning blended with the sun equal a summer blue sky. Every time it fills my heart with such emotion that it feels like it will explode, like a thousand knives upon my heart.

I brush my hair and my teeth, but not before getting dressed. I pull my hair back and keep it there with a dark blue headband; the same one that I wear everyday. After I am finished fixing myself up, I leave the confines of my room and sit down in the still of the kitchen. My father hasn't woken up yet, he's likely to sleep for another hour or so. Since my breakfast isn't going to make itself, I scramble myself a couple of eggs and pour some milk, not forgetting to cook some bacon for my father to eat when he wakes up. I decide to be nice this morning in particular, and also whip him up some pancakes. I leave them at his place trusting that he knows I made it out of love for him.

Knowing that my shop isn't supposed to open up for another hour, I leave anyway, ready with the key in my hand to open up the rustic library. The walk to the library is short, but I enjoy every second of it. Since its summer, the sun is already busy warming the land and the birds are cheerfully chirping away. For a single moment I am one with nature, the pain is forgotten and Mother Nature herself caresses me gently. A summer breeze tickles my cheek and it makes me smile, grazing my face with dimples.

When I finally reach the building, I take out the key and place it in the lock, turning it slightly to the right. I listen with satisfaction when I hear the familiar _click_ of the door unlocking. Turning the knob, I open up the door to be greeted by the comforting smell of books. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, taking in everything; the smell, the atmosphere, even the silence. I'm home.

I gently close the door behind me and turn around the plastic sign in the window. It now reads, "Open". I smile to myself thinking what a pleasant surprise it will be for someone when they arrive at the library, only to see that it indeed is open early, and they don't need to wait to check out a favorite book and start reading. I remember that I'm not quite done my book yet, and pull out a romantic novel I had tucked away underneath the counter upon which the register sits. I start reading and am catapulted away into a mystic world of warriors, damsels, and magic wizards.

A sudden splashing noise interrupts my reading and I immediately look up. I realize where the sound came from, and venture over to the window, glancing outside. My heart melts at the sight of him, my knees go weak and I feel like I'm in one of the many novels I have read in the hours spent in this library.

His brown hair, neatly pulled back into a ponytail, and blue eyes so perfectly compliment my brown eyes and blue hair. His love of nature and fishing goes along wonderfully with my love of nature and quiet like of reading. He is shy around girls, and I am shy around everyone. I like to have an intellectual conversation about anything, and he will open up to anyone he befriends. It's so easy to see how incredibly perfect we are for each other. Not to mention his favorite fishing spot is right next to my favorite spot of all; the library.

Many days have I spent reading up on fishing, learning all the favorite spots of the rare legendary fish so that if he were to ever venture into the library, I'd have something of interest to say to him. So many days have I spent dreaming about him as I read a story, substituting myself for the damsel in distress and him as the knight in shining armor. Countless times I rehearsed the conversation that might take place between us if he were to ever happen upon the library and decide he needed to come in. I had everything perfectly memorized; what he would say, how I would respond, and where the conversation would lead.

I sigh with longing, knowing thereis no way he would ever walk into this library for any reason. And it makes me even sadder to know this truth; that I will never ever become outgoing enough to go outside and talk to him first. Iam a slave to my shyness, and it hurts me on the inside, like a thousand knives upon my heart.

My face crumples up and I know I'm about to cry, so I quickly run from the window and retreat to the sanctuary of behind the desk, where I belong. I pull out the book I had been so engrossed in before, and five words hit me hard, like a rock smashing through the window: Life is not a fairytale.

My prince in shining armor is no hero, he's a humble fisherman trying to make a living. I am no beautiful damsel in distress, I'm an average girl leading a boring life as a receptionist at a library. This land I live in is not a kingdom ruled by a kind old man, that man is my father, and he is just a mayor. And this library is not a sanctuary where fears melt away into bliss and happiness, it's a dungeon where I am forced to hide until the day is done.

A single tear finally falls from my face after so long of my attempts to hold it in. I quickly brush it from my cheek because I hear footsteps: someone is actually coming into my library.

The young girl who enters has her brown hair pulled back into two ponytails and is wearing jean shorts and a pink vest over top a white shirt. She smiles pleasantly and I automatically smile back, almost like a robot. She comes in and asks for a book on fishing. Fishing. Of all the things to ask for, it had to be that. I walk out from behind the counter, still smiling. Unaware, the words "of course" slip out from my mouth and I make my way over to the shelf dedicated to fishing books. I pull one out, one that I had read over recently, and hand it to the girl. I tell her the due date, she nods politely, thanks me, and exits the library.

I saunter over to the window and watch her leave. She approaches him, my knight in shining armor, and timidly taps him on the shoulder. He turns around and blushes when he sees her. A girl was actually talking to him. My face flushed with anger as I thought how that should be me out there that he was blushing at, not her. She shows him the book and they exchange some words. They are obviously having a good time, as both of them start laughing. He offers her his hand and they walk off together, two young people, unbeknownst to them, about to fall in love. I knew how it went, I'd read all those novels. They'd spend some time together, and the more and more they see each other the more and more they'll be attracted, when one day they wake up and realize they'd do anything just to see the other. Eventually they'll get married, have children, and spend their golden days together. And all that time they'll be dreaming about each other, when in reality, he should be dreaming about me. She stole my part; now she is the damsel in distress and I … I am just the reader, helpless as I watch the story unfold.

I walk back to the desk where the register sits, pull out my novel and stare at it. I know I will never be his. My tears begin to fall and I watch them as they hit the book. I sit back and become numb from the piercing ache of a thousand knives upon my heart.

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**Please R&R! Btw that was Maria and Ray, if you didn't know. **


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